Actor Djimon Hounsou raised brows during a press interview for his latest movie Baggage Claim, when he expressed his views on marriage.
“The idea of marrying somebody can actually ruin the union.” He went on to say, “Some people are happily together for decades and they get this fantasy idea to go and get married when it’s just about papers basically…eventually it just goes sour.”
In 2009, Djimon held a commitment ceremony with now ex-girlfriend Kimora Lee (Simmons) in his native home Africa. While the ceremony carried no legal weight, the two still lived as husband and wife before separating over a year ago.
Do you all agree that marriage can ruin a union?
I’ll chime in…..My mom says if you live long enough you’ll see things you thought you’d never see and do things you thought you’d never do. This is one of those things. I never thought I’d feel this way, but I’m not necessarily a proponent of marriage. My thoughts are a little grey and complicated.
I’ve been married … and clearly divorced. However it wasn’t just the divorce that changed my perspective. Primarily my observations since then. I think marriage can be a beautiful thing. However I no longer feel a piece of paper signifies a commitment. Commitment is deep rooted and no piece of paper will ever represent that.
I wouldn’t go as far to say marriage ruins relationships, but I would say it puts a little undue stress on things. I definitely felt slightly trapped. Words I would have felt comfortable saying outside of marriage suddenly were so carefully picked in marriage that I didn’t want to say them at all. Conversations and actions felt amplified. In an unmarried relationship it seems like ebb and flow is more tolerable. In a marriage, it felt completely unacceptable. Yep, I think that type of pressure makes the bad worse and the worse unbearable.
I guess I’m saying if a non-marital commitment is working, I don’t recommend “fixing it” via marriage when it isn’t broken.
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